This tiger is an insanely intense ball handler (in his mouth). Look at all that sweat!

What’s your story?  Actually, don’t tell me.  I have something better to waste time with.  I’m a basketball player.  Why, though, huh?  I put the ball in the hole.  People want me on the team so they can pass me the rock.  I post up in the paint.  I’m a big  huge monstrously gigantic dude and I’m all athletic like an agile freak.  In the weight room, I can bench and squat press over 400 times.  When I get out on the ball court, it feels unnatural as hell.  That’s why I excel.  People always ask, “Why are you sweating so much around your nipple area, are you lactating?”  No, not really.  That’s grossly inaccurate and sick.  Here’s a little factoid: nipple sweat is sourced from pure adrenaline.  Try this: Put a tiger on an airplane.  He’s going to get nervous and then maul a pilot and then land the plane and then save everyone else on board and then they’ll all make their connecting flights, probably.  It’s unnatural, but heroic.  He’s excelling, he’s nervous.  You didn’t know this until right now but tiger’s nipples sweat big time.  When tiger nipples are sweating hard, I’m competing hard.  I’m heroic-ish.  Pounding the boards, inbounding the stone, eating an apple.  That’s what I do.  That’s why I play shooty hoops.