Wolsamnoraa's Blog

I am the self proclaimed king of face stuffing.  Above all foods, cereal is the one I prefer to stuff my face with.  I like all the kinds.  I just cram it down my crammity cram hole.  It’s a great way to start the day, end the day, take a break from the day, drown emotions I don’t want to feel every day, and enjoy the day.  I crave it.  Sometimes I crave it so much that I do weird things.  Is it ok to mix cereals?  Yeah, it is.

What if I get down to the end of one box and the bowl is only half full?  No one should fill up half ways…what a waste of milk and time.  I gotta top off before I slop off.  Besides, how else am I supposed to get 35% of my daily fiber intake while fulfilling my essential marshmallow quota?  Fiber One + Count Chocula is what.

I only postulate because I saw my lovely honey bear’s father, Dougras, mixing salad dressings one time.  Ranch and blue cheese would have been kosher with me (not literally, it was bacon ranch), but he doused balsamic vinegarette and a honey mustard sauce all over his salad.  It was a vinegary, creamy mess….ladies?

All I can think is that I looked that disgusting with my cereal blends.  I mean, it’s not really a Cold Stone Creamery mix in selection: “Yes, hi.  How’s it going? Can I get the baby batter ice cream with, hmmm?  I think I’ll try thousand island and skittles.  Uh, I hope it’s good?”  Ah yeah, no.  You look nuts.  Why don’t you try one of the pre-crafted options like the candy/candy mix up?  At least those are crafted from the same elements like sugar and heart disease.

But what makes cereal so different?  The combinations are endless and could potentially be just as revolting as mixing Kraft and Paul Newman’s Own salad dressings.  The difference, my friend, is that cereal, no matter what variety, starts with the same base ingredients; grains.

Dressing is made with all sorts of crap like mayonnaise or vinegar or alkaline metals or poison oak.  It doesn’t matter how much sugar you dump onto it, a grain is a grain and they all taste the same.  And there’s nothing wrong with homogeneity.  So next time you’re down to that last little bit of Lucky Charms and you don’t want to waste your sugary milk, go ahead.  Go ahead and top ‘er off with some of your grandmother’s Muesli.

Everything’s going to be just fine because it all looks the same in the end, especially with all of that extra fiber you’re getting.