Wolsamnoraa's Blog

I can only think of one way to ruin a baby's day

I have lived a full and gratifying life filled with lemonade and cherry pits.  As I approach a ripe old age in my life, I have been provided with valuable lessons that I need to share with you….now:

10. Douche bags are inside of pussies for one reason: they’re giant pricks.

9. Canned produce is just as bit as nutritious and delicious as hobo piss.  Do yourself a solid and buy fresh or frozen.

8. Challenge authority.

7. An open mind will set you free.  You’ll never hear a gay man say, “Hey, that doesn’t go there!”

6. Learning to cook feeds the soul’s desire to eat.

5. Own your smell.  Showering is for honorable men.

4. Ditch your values and friends to the highest bidder.  Selling out is the new buying in.

3. Best friends make the best lovers.

2. Whenever you can, jerk off your biggest sex toy; your mind.

- And Finally-

1. Once a rectal thermometer, always a rectal thermometer.