Wolsamnoraa's Blog

I am as liberal as Adolf Hitler was gay…flamingly.  You want abortions, take two.  You want affordable heath care, have some.  Taxes?  I love taxes.  I’ll pay yours.  That’s how frickin’ left I am.  You might be reading this thinking, “this assh*le is a borscht loving, Stalin sucking, rabbit eating Communist!”  Thank you for thinking that, but no.  It’s simply outrageous!  Truthfully, I’m only borderline Communist.  And actually, I’m moving away from that.  I’m growing up.  I’m becoming a small, bearded man.  You see, my understanding of true communism is that, as a member of the party, each person works as he pleases and is compensated according to his needs.  It’s like skirting through life doing your hobbies.  “Hey kid!  You’re really good at video games and rippin bingers from your bonger.  Here have a boiled goat’s head and a bag of KGB Branded Funyuns.  And kid…keep up the good work!”  Truly amazing.  The thing is, though, it’s not that amazing you crazy dreamer.  You might be saying to yourself, “That would be pretty cool.  But, gee whiz.  Something that awesome couldn’t ever happen in my America.”  Bullsh*t.  That stuff happens everyday in your America.  And that’s why I’m not Communist.  Not only could I sit around playing video games while dabbling in my other “hobbies”, in America, I can get paid to do it.  Paid to do what you love?  America, f*ck yeah!  America is a land of opportunity.  Golden, plentiful, tig ol’ bitty opportunity!  Yeah, you may have to work hard and play politics and beat out competition to reach your pie in the sky, boiled goat’s head dreams.  But you can do it.  And with an understanding of marketing and merchandising, you could be living big just by doing what you love.  Just remember to pay your taxes when you start making your buko bucks  and maybe, just maybe, pick up one of those BOGO abortions for yourself.  After all, you earned it.