Wolsamnoraa's Blog

I have a theory.  It’s not religious dogma by any means.  It’s just something that I subscribe to dutifully and practice unwillingly everyday.  It goes like this:  Imagine a vortex in space.  It might look like a black hole sucking a bunch of crap into it, or it may look like the dirt chamber inside one those new fan-dangled Dyson vacuum cleaning systems.  At the top and the bottom of this vortex are openings which allows stuff pass through.  Now imagine that swirling around inside this vortex from the bottom to the top are a gazillion tiny particle-looking things.   I like to think that the particles are the soul’s of everyone and everything that’s dead; from your grandparents’ grandchildren to the parakeet you didn’t feed when you went on vacation to Rome back in junior high school.  Each soul enters directly from a person’s death at the bottom and exits at the top at birth.  I call this the Soul Hole.  (We’re recycling souls, here folks.)

But there are a gazillion souls in there and they can only exit one at a time.  So the rule is, the heavier your soul’s burden (I call it surden), the slower the ascent to the top of the chamber.  The lighter your soul (or the more gravity defying), the faster your soul will exit the chamber and the sooner you will reenter the world.  Along the way, your soul bumps into other souls; it gets to help other souls; it gets held up at knife point by other souls; it completely avoids the other souls.  What changes the loftiness of a soul?  That’s easy: Satisfaction and Fulfillment from life.  If you live a fulfilled life, after you die you will be able to return to life more quickly.  If you live a life of dissatisfaction, your soul might swirl around the Soul Hole forever, never to be reborn again.

Notice that this theory doesn’t inherently subscribe to the school of thought of right and wrong, or good and evil.  There are virtuous endeavors, but they are entirely selfish.  You might really love to kill puppies…so long as it’s satisfying, more power to you (just stay away from me, Mr. Vick).  You’re going to pop right out of that hole.  On the contrary, you might save orphans and help old people everyday of your life yet hate every minute of it.  If this is the case, your rebirth will be slow, my friend.

For me, I’m working toward satisfaction and fulfillment.  But that’s the thing.  A person can never be too satisfied in life or else he’ll stop trying.  Striving to be on top is the only way out.  However, if you start believing that there is no top, that the spiraling soul recycling is a continuous circle of life and limbo with no end, then your soul will never be fulfilled or satisfied.  It will sink to the bottom of the Soul Hole, thus making way for the souls that want to keep on keepin’ on.