The Physics Of A Thong

My knowledge is limited (there’s not much room for argument about that).  But in attempt to capture more information about the world, I have curiosities that conjure up questions.  These questions are usually so inane that they don’t warrant real answers.  I’m looking for something more entertaining than truth…I’m looking for hypotheticals.  I’m mostly interested in speculation.  If you’re not asking “what if?”, you’re not capturing all the information, whether it’s logical or not.  What is knowledge more than the thoughts a person believes in?

Today, I’m interested in gaining insight into the physics of thongs.  More specifically, the “what ifs” of thongs.  Imagine a woman wearing a pair of thong under-panties.  For the sake of this thought experiment she is in a forest wearing a thong; there are no pants, no bra, only high heels; her large tan breasts with their perfectly sized and symmetrical nipples are exposed; she has nice hair. What happens when she craps herself wearing a thong?  My first thought is that the poop hits the thong underwear and splits directly in half like a cheese slicer through sharp cheddar, thus, making two separate piles of dump on the ground.  But that might only happen if she’s squatting.

What if she’s standing up?  I suspect that the poop might split within the confines of the thong area only to be pushed back together again by the pressure of her cheeks.  The mess created by this set of events could be demolish my ability to watch her.  If she does this into a cup with another girl there to drink it, however, it could become an internet sensation.  There a lot of things to think about here.  Do girls actually poop?  My sources tell me no.  Judging by the smell of my mom’s farts, that might not be true.  There are too many questions.  These are just things to think about.  I will just stick with what I want to believe.  And that is naked girls in thongs should do whatever they want as long as they don’t mind me taking notes.