The Simpsons

Big deal Wolfy.  Marge is my soul mate. Now show me some inner peace or I’ll mop the floor with ya’.

 Sometimes I think I’m being really funny.  I’m engaging conversation with strangers and they’re thrilled and captivated; laughing at my every word.  And then it hits me.  Everything I’m saying is a recital of Simpson’s quotes and situations that I’ve stored away in my subconscious.  “Remember the episode when Bart was a baby and Homer wanted Bart to call him ‘daddy’ and after several tries he called Homer, ‘Domer’?”  I know that was a funny episode.  I know that was a funny event.  But in that instance I’m no more than a hack.  Simply put, I’m stealing material from other people in an attempt to prove my funniness.  The problem is that it works.  People love Simpson related stories and quotes.  “Do you remember the episode with the Bear Tax?  Homer and Lisa are standing in the front yard opening mail and Homer gets his pay check.  He’s wondering why his ‘pay is so low’ and Lisa says it’s the Bear Tax that Homer so triumphantly demanded. Then Homer outrageously exclaims something like, ‘I don’t want to pay the bear tax, let the bears pay the bear tax.  I pay the Homer tax.’ And Lisa responds by saying, ‘Dad, it’s the Home owner tax.’”  The Simpsons are so damn funny.  Do you remember how funny that was?  Well, I do.  And now, in some hacked up version of the real story, you’ll remember it, too.  I’m so funny.  You’re welcome.