Wolsamnoraa's Blog

There comes a time in every person’s life when he is asked one question:  Would you rather have sex with your boss once or learn to play the guitar?

The mental acrobatics required to answer this question are taxing.  In either case, your answer will result in a lifetime of suffering.

Would you rather...

On the one hand, you’ll be haunted by the sight and feel of skin that’s riddled with moles and sores and scars.  Skin so dense with in pubic hair, that when you’re forced to run your fingers through it, the noxious smells of trapped coffee and cigarette breath escape; burning itself into your olfactory.  Don’t forget about the sour tasting fluids that will inevitably stain your clothes you refuse to remove resulting in another “Monica Lewinski” incident.

On the other hand, however, you’ll be required to spend a few countless hours toiling and practicing a useless skill.

The answer is yours to make.  But in case you need a little persuasion, here are 10 reasons that you should learn the guitar:

10. Biting your finger nails for fear of sexually pleasuring your boss has callused your finger tips.

9. You already burned $1000 when you bought a guitar years ago.

8. You’ll have a legitimate reason for playing with your nuts, neck and sound hole.

7. You’ve always wanted to learn but never had a reason to waste that much time.

6. The Asian kid on youtube is almost as good as you should be.

5. There’s finally a skill you can share with your kids that doesn’t involve pot (even though it probably does).

4. There’s that one Moby song you’ve always wanted to learn.

3. You realized that your passion making birdhouses was the gayest hobby ever.

2. You’ll probably get famous.  And rich.

-And, finally-

1. It won’t be necessary for you to screw your boss as a result of a stupid, yet valid, “would you rather” question.