Wolsamnoraa's Blog

About three months ago, I decided that quitting my sh*tty job would be a good idea.  Even though the action temporarily halted my night terrors and self-mutilation, it has led to a host of other problems.  I have since been diagnosed and treated for depression and a disease simply known as the gay.  These ailments have caused me a host of other problems that I could not have predicted.  Tension is mounting between my wife and me as I sit at home all day.  Despite my reluctance, there seems to be only one solution; I should get to f*cking work.  Here, then, are 10 reasons that I should get a job:

10. A job provides an opportunity to have money, to give back to society, have a bigger purpose in life, meet new people and be mad at something other than my wife and the house cat

"I've been workforce ready since my conception"

9. There are no more dishes to clean and the floors are as swept as they’ll ever be

8. The fern I planted to provide me with a sense of fruitfulness and hope has died

7. Water cooler talk about Seinfeld reruns is turning me into a schizophrenic

6. I’ve been taking public buses just to see where their routes end

5. Investing money in my home business of cashing in on the Internet has amounted to numerous porn site subscriptions and dozens of pills that combat erectile dysfunction

4. My home office consists of a barcalounger, a box of colored pencils and a guitar I plan on learning

3. Anticipation of checking the mail keeps me up all night

2. Getting drinks “after work” starts at nine in the morning

-and, finally-

1. I spend more money than my wife makes