10 Reasons Not To Make Resolutions

If the New Year is going to cry the whole time, I don't want to participate.

At the beginning of every year, people decide to take a stab at making and sticking to resolutions.  Starting a project on January 1st is one of the most inane and arbitrarily timed strategies to accomplishing goals.   Most, if not all, resolutions are ridiculous and range anywhere from losing weight to selling more stuff on eBay.  While the intent of a resolution seems worthy, it’s not.  It’s dumb.  Here are 10 reasons I suggest no one makes resolutions:

10. Why start something now, when you can start next year?

9. Losing weight is pointless when you’re not even as fat as you’ll ever be.

8. You love smoking.  Why would you quit something you love?  Especially, when you’re only three cartons away from your very own Marlboro coffin?

7. Working out tends to be a lot of work.

6. Enjoying life more is going to be impossible with your hectic schedule.

5. Don’t cut up your credit cards; Obama said the only way out of a financial crisis is to spend more.

4. You’ll stop procrastinating this afternoon.

3. The Chinese New Year is still two months away.

2. You couldn’t possibly kill any more of your snide neighbors. You exceeded the state’s limit last year.

-and, finally-

1. Whatever your goal, you’ll never be as far along as if you’d started a year ago.