There's a small sand castle under that man's hat
I’ve been out of a job for three months now. I could think of no better way to celebrate that fact than by setting off to the region of the world known as Mexico. My thought was that I could live it up in an all-inclusive resort on less money than it takes to fill up my gas tank (btw, I drive a bus).
However, Mexico’s third-world hospitality left a bad taste in my mouth. Mexicans were so nice even though Americans were so stupid and mean. Additionally, its tropical climate left my fair-skinned ass cheeks as chapped and chaffed as a cheap prostitute’s money hole.
What I thought was going to be a great deal turned into a great dump. The shams that have been put in place to make up for years of degradation by Americans give Mexicans a bad name. I soon realized that my presence in Mexico wasn’t doing anyone any good.
I don’t think that anybody should go to Mexico and I have no one to blame but all of you. It won’t get any better until people stay away and give Mexico time to recover from years of abuse from Western culture. Here, then, are ten reasons that people should stay out of Mexico:
10. “All-inclusive resort” is Spanish for “nothing’s included in the price except give us more money”
9. The watered down Tequila is 40% alcohol by ballroom
8. Tipping is unnecessary and mandatory
7. I was in a restaurant and ordered a steak that was cooked to medium weird
6. All of the good help has immigrated north
5. The Chinese food was not very good
4. The polluted and murky sea water is not safe for drowning in
3. Pesos look like and function as play money
2. The soiled Mexican scenery makes the Jersey Shore look like paradise
-and, finally-
1. There is no doubt about it…you will get sick
I Want to Buy an Electric Car
Simply Nature Cards's Store at Zazzle — For sick ass greeting cards
The Boy's Club for Men
Follow Me
When and where were you in Mexico? The fam recently took me and I got a parasite. Also kinda smelled like pee in a lot of places. I named my parasite Paco and decided that when he played his maracas I got diarrhea. You know straight up gansta shit…
We went to Playa del Carmen outside of Cancun which roughly translates from Spanish to “Whore’s Bleeding Vagina”. I’ve been sick in Mexico before. It is not fun. I think that I’m immune though, because I haven’t been sick since. Maracas are for loco es pollo, dawg.
Um, I don’t think that “steak” came from a cow…I don’t even know if it was Mexican, it was definitely white meat.
The steak that I referred to was in fact Mexican rat steak made from, you guessed it, dead people. It was not good.