Wolsamnoraa's Blog

That soap just cleaned itself

There’s a little secret that God hasn’t told you about.  That’s right, you’re just s’posed to figure it out for yourself.  Soap, my friend, is a self cleaning miracle device.

You wash your hands; the soap stays clean.  You wash your face; the soap stays clean.  I washed my butt; your face and hands are clean.  It’s anti-bacterial by nature, the way your good lord intended.  Haven’t you heard “reeks to high Heaven”?  God smelled you and reevaluated the situation.  Boom!  Soap, hallelujah.

He didn’t stop there, however.  Ladies, have you ever had one of those not so fresh days?  I’m talking about ladies’ troubles right in and around the fourth week.  That’s right!  God smelled you, too.  He took a sniff and decided to build in the self cleansing feature you’re familiar with today.  Ta da!

The new and improved vagina is self cleaning and roomy enough to store an assortment of latex-covered, battery-operated machines.  Much better than the old model all covered in hair.  You know how many pieces of chewed gum I’ve lost in the tangles?  Several.  I should have my mouth washed with soap for talking like that.