Wolsamnoraa's Blog

I was in college once and a professor told me to get off the grass.  Punderful!  He also told me never to use Wikipedia as a resource in collegiate academia.  ”Why?” you may ask.  ”Because,” he said, “it’s crap!”  I wondered about this.  I use Wikipedia to fact check everything that seems the littlest bit suspicious or forged.

During Obama’s historic presidential campaign, I was all over John McCain’s baloney like white on race rice.  My buddy told me that Wyoming is the smallest state in Union.  ”Bull fur!” I cried.  I Googled the funk out of that stink and low and behold, first on the search results, Wikipedia.  Wyoming has the smallest population of any state in the U.S.  It’s probably smaller than the population of  Guam,  I’m maybe betting.  They should call it “Why, oh, why would you live there, Ming?”  Or not.

It seems that Wikipedia’s fact backing power far exceeded the expectations of that darned professor.  But, being the intellectual smarty that I am, I decided to research further into his claim that Wikipedia is crap and that one shouldn’t use it to prove anything.  I have listed a few well-known facts I searched that returned some questionable results:

She's as shocked as I am

My 1st Inquiry: Define Boning.  Wikipedia’s Answer: The method a butcher uses to remove meat from bone.

What is this Tom Foolery?!  There’s not a mention of the real definition of boning which is to sexually penetrate a lady or Thai boy-girl.  In fact, the only relevant portion that matches my search was some sketchy mention of cutting into pork.  Outlandish!

My 2nd Inquiry: Jerry Seinfeld’s birthplace.  Wikipedia’s Answer: Jerry Seinfeld was born in Brooklyn, NY.

Fact:  Jerry Seinfeld was born amongst immortals high atop Mount Olympus and was cradled and cared for by the comedy gods Zeus and Jokusplese.

My 3rd Inquiry: What is the worth of a mint condition United States 1921 issue Peace Dollar?  Wikipedia’s Answer: $135.00.

Bogus, man!  The answer is one dollar.  Hence, why it’s called the Peace Dollar and not the Peace Hundo-and-Change.

I am shocked that my professor was right (I mean, he was only a PhD).  Wikipedia is an informational super traffic jam.  The only fact that you can ultimately prove with Wikipedia is that Wikipedia sucks…balls.  To my dismay, this explains why I failed all of my college papers.  I should have known better.  If only Wikipedia could have warned me…oh, wait.  Dammit!