Just make sure the hole is clean before you put your mouth on it.
In life, you either have to get something done or you want to get something done. (Do I go to work or do I go to the park?) The trick is to learn the shortest time between what you have to do and what you want to do. These are called short cuts. Now, a common misperception is that short cuts incorporate poorly devised strategies. No elfin way is this true. How are you going to take a good short cut if you don’t know the outcome of said short cut? You are betting on yourself to get lucky, which is a bet a sick whore on a toilet wouldn’t take.
More accurately, a good short cut is a calculated step that requires previous experience and knowledge of the situation’s outcome. Unfortunately for all you rookies out there, this means you usually have to complete a task the long and difficult way the first time or two before you can implement short cuts. Once first timers get the hang of things, they can cut out unnecessary busy work needed to complete that task until one day the task just does itself somehow. The only exception to this rule is having sex for the first time but having needed something better to do (which I highly doubt, you virgin idiot). You were probably able to skip out on all the hard work before finishing the job just in time for a nice nappy pooh.
Although they can be timely initially, short cuts are a half-asser’s wet dream come true. Short cuts provide quick solutions to life’s questionably necessary busy work, allowing you to get back to what’s really important; putting your mouth on glory holes in public park restrooms.
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