Wolsamnoraa's Blog

Things to consider when getting a tattoo:

1. The tattoo has a unique story behind it

2. You have no personal biases against tattoos

3. The tattoo incorporates pancakes

The vegetarian diet of a butterly makes its magic look like poop

I’d never considered a tattoo.  My wife has one of a magical butterfly and she resents it every day.  I’ve always been told modifying the body in such an unnatural way goes against the Jewish religion (a faith I used to subscribe to).  And I’ve never seen a piece of art or cartoon that I loved so badly as to prominently display it on my human flesh.  From this, I can say that without a doubt, I’m not much of a “tattoo guy”.  That was until Saturday night.

I spent several really good hours this weekend at my friend’s wedding–for the sake of naming names, let’s call the wedding the union of  A Wat and Mel Wat.  It’s no big deal or nothin’ but the governor was there–for fun’s sake, I’m not gonna tell you which one.  The ceremony was all churchy and nice and junk, but the reception is where things got all friggin’ awesome.

It was at said reception where I encountered a gentleman who, for the sake of anonymity, we’ll call C. Lav.  Mr. Lav was kind enough to humor me with a wonderful anecdote from his past that has quite possibly altered my perception of tattoos and friendship for the rest of eternity.

The story begins with an innocent marriage proposal.  C. Lav’s best friend, let’s call him B. Mav for the sake of this story,  was to be wed to a woman.  B. Mav was expecting a bachelor party to be held in his honor by his two very best friends, C. Lav and his other friend, for the sake of the story and for purposes of anonymity, we’ll call A. Nav.

To honor the time old tradition, C. Lav and A. Nav planned a party for B. Mav which entailed a trek across these late, great United States via passenger rail car from Denver to Chicago and then to Milwaukee and back again.  B. Mav was excited for the journey as it was the popular style at the time.

It was in this honorable and timeless journey that the most incredible thing happened.  Along the way, somewhere between here and there, the three decided to do something radical.  Dazed from the toxins that one ingests during a bachelor party, the men wound up in a house of pancakes.  (An international house, no less.)

It all started with a conversation about B. Mav’s reoccurring dream of a soaring hawk swooping down into a pond and, delivering to the sky a lily pad that was locked within the deadly clutches of his talons.  As majestic and vivid as the dream seemed, it all sounded hokey and gay to A. Nav and C. Lav.

“Nobody’s going to recognize a tattoo of a lily pad, dude,” they said, “Why don’t you make it something cool that looks like a lily pad but is way cooler?”

As the three pondered the suggestion, they gathered ideas from their surroundings.  What looks like a lily pad but is more stately and ultimately cooler?  Pancakes!

B. Mav agreed to an artist’s depiction of a hawk soaring above pancakes so long as C. Lav and A. Nav also plated a tattoo incorporating pancakes.  And so it was.

Pokey the Unicorn in all his majesty

The boys embarked on a second journey…to get tattoos of pancakes.  On their way, A. Nav and C. Lav decided what tattoos to get.  A. Nav decided on a beast that represents mystic wisdom and grandeur hurdling a short stack…he picked a unicorn.  This was no ordinary unicorn, however.  It was an expression of his boyhood hero, Pokey from the claymation cartoon series, “Gumby”.

C. Lav went for another creature of mystic proportions.  He picked a creature more elusive than the unicorn…one that had captivated his imagination ever since seeing the head of one prominently displayed on the wall of an Applebee’s.  He chose the mighty jackalope making quick work of pancakes.

So it came to be that these three best of friends would be joined spiritually and emotionally with iconic beasts and their pancakes tattooed to their skin for all time.

Afterwards, they traveled home only to share their tale with trusted contemporaries.  I enjoyed the story very much but was skeptical.  Determined to prove his anecdote, C. Lav took me to the bathroom and exposed me to the markings of his hind quarter.  It is with great pleasure that I share the glory with you, my faithful readership.  I give you what must simply be called the Jackalope…

The Jackalope

This representation changes my perception of tattoos all together.  I anticipate the day when I can vandalize my skin with the same creative display as C. Lav.  I can only hope that it comes out of the same love and passion that only best friends can share.  Thanks for the story, buddy.

Do you have a tattoo story that you love, or hate?  Feel free to share it in your comments…