About a year ago I decide that I hated my job and that it was time to follow my dream. I quit my job and wearily began practicing and performing as a comedian. With the support of my family and friends, it became easier to commit. I made significant progress in experience but not financially. Without a “real” job or prospects of quickly becoming a rich and famous comedian I had to revisit my priorities.
I reluctantly accepted a part time job and then a full time position. My brother convinced me that if I was truly passionate, I could work hard at my job and advancing my performances to satisfy both needs. It was a nice sentiment.
I stopped writing. I stopped performing. I started complaining…a lot of complaining. It’s been six months and the funniest thing I’ve done lately is to give a nonchalant wet willy to a guy in front of me at a Green Day concert. He was pissed. It turns out that nobody likes Green Day.
No matter what shenanigans I’ve gotten into, comedy still weighs heavily on my mind. The more I think about it, the more scared I get and the more excuses I come up with to stay away. I feel I don’t have time. I’m scared that I burned bridges and if I go back people will hate me. I feel like my jokes will suck worse than before. I fear that I’ll repeat the same pattern I’m in now in six months time. This list goes on.
Attempting to regain motivation for my passion, I read this book called The War of Art by Stephen Pressfield. In the book, Pressfield talks a lot about Resistance blocking the way through creative battles. Resistance forms as procrastination and excuses and many self destructive behaviors.
Recognizing Resistance is only part of the problem. Success is a result of moving past the bull crap, sitting down and doing the work. As it turns out, doing the work, the part I’ve neglected and feared, is the one thing that will get me over this hurdle. The excuses are not the problem…I am.
My priorities are the same as they’ve always been. I’m still working but I’ve started writing again. I’ve toned down the complaints. The next step is to get back on stage. I’ve done it before and I can do it again and again and again. After all, it’s what I want to do. As long as I remind myself that it’s easier to just do the work rather than resist, I’ll be fine.
The old saying used to say that “you should smoke ‘em if you got ‘em.” There’s no worse advice in the history of all of the things that have ever been advised. Smoking is gross.
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